Since he popped out that "question" then voila the inside of me just went ballistic!! An outburst mixture of frustration is engulfing me bit by bit and I just don't feel alright! I try to stay calm and not care about it but why I can't seem to do so? So becoming a fool I lied and tell him I have no interest in any relationship for now.
If it wasn't because of me trying to held up to my pride, I would be draining tears like an overflowing water tank. I despise myself for not being able to speak up my mind. This is so wrong I am not the kind of girl who would shatter down over a "dude" thing I am way past that because I've been training myself hard not to be emotionally involved over a guy.. I used to think of it as not essential to be in a a relationship for my age now.
After the first hurting much break up I've had 2 years back I've made a commitment to myself where I'd be avoiding being in a serious relationship for the moment and eventually open up in the near future until I found that one guy who I believe wouldn't hurt me and take care of my heart pretty much like it is his. As for now, while waiting for Mr. Right to come into my life, I'd be forcing myself into closure because I hated the crying, cheating, lying and the fooling around.
Guess now my heart decide to rebel on me and fall without even me knowing about it.
At this very moment I really do not feel like talking.. What I want is just to cuddle up in bed tearing down, listening to all the musics that just suits the situation I am going through now and not be bothered by questions like what happened? Are you alright? You know I won't be spilling my hearts out about it because I seriously have no fucking idea about what had happen to myself!!!!!
I am starting to feel the pain in this little heart of mine! It's been so long since I've felt this kind of pain... I hate it so much!!!! What did you do to me boy? Did you take my heart without asking for my permission? Would you kindly please return it back to me........ :(
If it wasn't because of me trying to held up to my pride, I would be draining tears like an overflowing water tank. I despise myself for not being able to speak up my mind. This is so wrong I am not the kind of girl who would shatter down over a "dude" thing I am way past that because I've been training myself hard not to be emotionally involved over a guy.. I used to think of it as not essential to be in a a relationship for my age now.
After the first hurting much break up I've had 2 years back I've made a commitment to myself where I'd be avoiding being in a serious relationship for the moment and eventually open up in the near future until I found that one guy who I believe wouldn't hurt me and take care of my heart pretty much like it is his. As for now, while waiting for Mr. Right to come into my life, I'd be forcing myself into closure because I hated the crying, cheating, lying and the fooling around.
Guess now my heart decide to rebel on me and fall without even me knowing about it.
At this very moment I really do not feel like talking.. What I want is just to cuddle up in bed tearing down, listening to all the musics that just suits the situation I am going through now and not be bothered by questions like what happened? Are you alright? You know I won't be spilling my hearts out about it because I seriously have no fucking idea about what had happen to myself!!!!!
I am starting to feel the pain in this little heart of mine! It's been so long since I've felt this kind of pain... I hate it so much!!!! What did you do to me boy? Did you take my heart without asking for my permission? Would you kindly please return it back to me........ :(
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