I CHANGED.. I NO LONGER KNOW MYSELF.
I feel sad because the people I love can’t seem to accept that I’ve changed. That I'm no longer the little girl they used to know who used to blow bubbles and crawl into their bed at 3 in the morning because I had a nightmare. The little girl who share every problem she had with her daddy and expect her "bigman" to fix it. I feel sad because I feel like nobody understands me anymore and all I need, really is someone to talk to but I can’t because there is no one around. And I am afraid that after listening to me pouring what is held in my chest, they would probably send me off to a hospital for depression or something.
Things are forever changing inside of me and I can’t keep up. I feel sad because things that used to make me feel complete and happy just aren’t adequate anymore. I feel sad because I feel like I'm slowly losing myself and I can’t do anything about it. It’s like I’m slowly watching myself die. And most of the time,I feel like I don’t make sense anymore.

I feel insignificant. Small. Tired. Exhausted. Numb. Not alive..

It’s like I'm dead inside and I'm waiting for something or someone to show up at my door to make me feel alive again but at the same time I know that nothing or no one is going to show up at my door to make me feel alive again.. NO ONE CAN DO THAT.. Too much had been done over the years. I lose the ones I loved forever.. Our family breaks apart.. The guilt of not inheriting what I am plan to do..

TOO MUCH...... If I could turn back time I'll fix it all bit by bit...