As usual like a Boss, I will always be...


I am the kind of person who always allow my intuition to guide me. But there are times I just refuse to listen to it, even when it was screaming from inside of me trying to tell me that it is time to back up.

Well the typical ignorant me just wouldn't care and by that I got my pride thickening up on my face. Not exactly a bad thing since there's absolutely nothing attractive about a girl with little pride. But I have to admit that I am a very proud kind of person. I do notice it. Even when I am around my friends I tend to be like boasty and stuff, but that was all so innate I was always the type to judge people and having the thought that some people are just a bunch of hooligans trying to fool me or something and from there I got the hatred within me.. I don't react well to being nice or polite to people who just don't seem to have their respect towards me nor themselves.

Despite that, I have never been the one to have walls around me either. But I have been building these walls for years now. A few people managed to tear down these walls but when they left and bruised me in anyways the walls just came right back up, and this time it is going to be thicker and stronger than ever. It is thickening, even as I am typing this.

I am clueless on why the need for me to have these barriers around me so strong. Was I that naive about wanting to keep certain people away. As for now I know that I rarely let people in because of trust perhaps. Back then I was too good for my own good that some people just take forgranted of my trust and abused it.  Although now, I am always around alot of people but I only let a few selected people in and by that I mean like "bestfriends" whom I could share everything with without hesitating being taken forgranted of. As for now, I am cautious, paranoid, and naive. Always anticipating the worst. Always seeing the good but always seeing the bad in people too.

I guess this all happens just because ..... just because........ not every human being are good at heart just as what you see based on the outside. I just don't go well with FAKERS...
SO JUST....
DEAL WITH IT..